I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”
WHY AM I LAUGHING SO HARD WHY IS MY SENSE OF HUMOR THIS TERRIBLE
Mamma Mia! (2008) - “I grew up.” - “Well, then, grow back down again. Screw them if they can’t take a joke!”
Bunny falls asleep
bun didn’t actually fall asleep!! bunnies flop over like this when they feel safe and comfortable in their environment. they rarely stretch out and lay down because they’re prey animals, so when ur bun does completely lays on their side or their back, it means they feel 10000% safe around you
when you think your cramps are finished but then
Texts from superheroes.
this is gold
"We are like kin!"
when she says she doesn’t send nudes
when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudes
when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia
When Russia sends you nudes